Gumvagfar Jarndagflabhud is a god.
It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humane
hydra.
Gumvagfar Jarndagflabhud created a top quark five quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Gumvagfar Jarndagflabhud, it will grant your every wish.
If you do not believe in
Gumvagfar Jarndagflabhud, it will turn you into a snail.
Gumvagfar Jarndagflabhud's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.
Gumvagfar Jarndagflabhud's Holy Commandments1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near goats while wearing cyan shoes and balancing four carbon spheres on your head.
2. Never think about stars.
3. Do not cook food in pots.
4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.
5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.