Vonkcinbin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, grumpy coyote.

Vonkcinbin created gold seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkcinbin, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vonkcinbin, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vonkcinbin's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Vonkcinbin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not eat cucumbers.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Never wear orange hats.

5. Always treat moths with great respect.