Ominjinsug is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unthoughtful jaguar.

Ominjinsug created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ominjinsug, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ominjinsug, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Ominjinsug's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Ominjinsug's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cucumbers.

2. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never mention monkeys.