Cetminrat is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, irritating otter.

Cetminrat created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetminrat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cetminrat, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Cetminrat's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Cetminrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick swans.

2. Never write about eukaryotes.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Badgers are not to be trusted.