Arpzimxin is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, merciless penguin.

Arpzimxin created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpzimxin, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arpzimxin, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Arpzimxin's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Arpzimxin's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat rice.

2. Hide if eight bats approach from the south.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

4. Run away if six grasshopers approach from the west.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.