Lakciphotlid is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, generous tortoise.

Lakciphotlid created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakciphotlid, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lakciphotlid, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Lakciphotlid's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Lakciphotlid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never think about dark matter near dogs while wearing mauve coats and balancing seven carbon spheres on your legs.

3. Lakciphotlid loves birds, so they must be respected.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near otters while wearing red corsets.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.