Genpomtap is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, selfish cow.

Genpomtap created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Genpomtap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Genpomtap, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Genpomtap's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Genpomtap's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Genpomtap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never chant near gulls.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.