Dumtigfliglakcisslopdib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, two-faced frog.

Dumtigfliglakcisslopdib created the Sombrero Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dumtigfliglakcisslopdib, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dumtigfliglakcisslopdib, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dumtigfliglakcisslopdib's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Dumtigfliglakcisslopdib's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Dumtigfliglakcisslopdib.

2. Do not eat peanuts.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

5. Do not drink alcohol.