Sakxuckzig is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, irritating naga.

Sakxuckzig created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sakxuckzig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sakxuckzig, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Sakxuckzig's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Sakxuckzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise corsets.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always treat whales with great respect.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Sakxuckzig must be the most important thing in your life.