Ominbatnak is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, contented mink.

Ominbatnak created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ominbatnak, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ominbatnak, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Ominbatnak's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Ominbatnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into blue rooms.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Always obey Ominbatnak's priests.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.