Miptaddav is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, selfish hyena.

Miptaddav created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Miptaddav, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Miptaddav, he will turn you into a duck.

Miptaddav's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Miptaddav's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near seals while wearing indigo scarves and balancing six copper spheres on your feet.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Miptaddav.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Miptaddav loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

5. Never wear purple kilts.