Kemmutteen is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, selfish zebra.

Kemmutteen created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemmutteen, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kemmutteen, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Kemmutteen's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Kemmutteen's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kemmutteen.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kemmutteen.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.