Fadlancum is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish mongoose.

Fadlancum created a bottom quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadlancum, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Fadlancum, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fadlancum's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Fadlancum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Fadlancum in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never paint your head orange.

4. Always help turtles in need.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.