Flancisspon is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, temperamental giraffe.

Flancisspon created a down quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flancisspon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flancisspon, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Flancisspon's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Flancisspon's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never mention seals.

3. Never hurt gulls.

4. Never hop near ducks.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.