Sograwfod is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, emotional walrus.

Sograwfod created a Higgs boson six million years ago.

If you believe in Sograwfod, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sograwfod, she will not care at all.

Sograwfod's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Sograwfod's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never feed lots of pineapples to squirrels while wearing red scarves.

3. Worship no other gods but Sograwfod.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near goats while wearing blue shirts and balancing eight platinum spheres on your face.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.