Baddussvid is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, dishonest manatee.

Baddussvid created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baddussvid, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Baddussvid, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Baddussvid's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Baddussvid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Put Baddussvid first in all things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.