Fosstipbad is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, happy dolphin.

Fosstipbad created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fosstipbad, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fosstipbad, he will not invite you to parties.

Fosstipbad's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Fosstipbad's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near bats while wearing pink boots.

3. Never laugh near sharks.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near otters while wearing cyan stockings and balancing three nickel spheres on your head.

5. Never eat onions.