Jabgofcin is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, caring zebra.

Jabgofcin created parasitic wasps nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabgofcin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jabgofcin, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jabgofcin's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Jabgofcin's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Jabgofcin on top of all buildings.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Always look after injured snails.

5. Never feed spinach to nematodes while wearing yellow shorts.