Yartdonkikgambast is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, idiotic badger.

Yartdonkikgambast created oxygen four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartdonkikgambast, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yartdonkikgambast, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Yartdonkikgambast's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Yartdonkikgambast's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about archaea.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Feed all hungry dolphins.

4. Never feed wheat to cats while wearing corsets.

5. Never look in ponds.