Xuckdagjan is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, grumpy snail.

Xuckdagjan created the planet Earth three billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckdagjan, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Xuckdagjan, it will turn you into a tree.

Xuckdagjan's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Xuckdagjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Xuckdagjan's name in vain.

2. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Xuckdagjan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat wheat.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Xuckdagjan on top of all buildings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.