Sitkarcen is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, temperamental faun.

Sitkarcen created silver nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitkarcen, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sitkarcen, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Sitkarcen's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Sitkarcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near dogs while wearing fawn trousers and balancing five carbon spheres on your chest.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.