Dadquimjabnig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unfair fairy.

Dadquimjabnig created carbon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dadquimjabnig, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dadquimjabnig, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dadquimjabnig's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Dadquimjabnig's Holy Commandments

1. Dadquimjabnig loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

2. Never sit near dolphins.

3. Never hurt aardvarks.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Swans are not to be trusted.