Fidwanbess is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthoughtful octopus.

Fidwanbess created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidwanbess, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fidwanbess, he will destroy your home planet.

Fidwanbess' most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Fidwanbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Hide if seven mites approach from the west.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never talk about archaea.