Hitcumlik Cemstragdun Febhivbag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless alligator.

Hitcumlik Cemstragdun Febhivbag created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hitcumlik Cemstragdun Febhivbag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hitcumlik Cemstragdun Febhivbag, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Hitcumlik Cemstragdun Febhivbag's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Hitcumlik Cemstragdun Febhivbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt frogs.

2. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Hitcumlik Cemstragdun Febhivbag in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never hurt sheep.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.