Fossbanlap is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, omniscient crow.

Fossbanlap created humanity twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fossbanlap, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fossbanlap, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fossbanlap's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Fossbanlap's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Fossbanlap's priests.

2. Never think about gravity near otters while wearing yellow kilts and balancing six nickel spheres on your face.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never think about special relativity.

5. Do not kill monkeys.