Kanlakort is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, staggering bee.

Kanlakort created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanlakort, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kanlakort, he will turn you into a mole.

Kanlakort's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Kanlakort's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Retreat if eight doves approach from the east.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Kanlakort.

5. Do not keep seven swans in a large pit.