Dadgan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, pitiless salamander.

Dadgan created life seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dadgan, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dadgan, he will turn you into a duck.

Dadgan's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Dadgan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never write about archaea.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.