Tamquimtom is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, humane wasp.

Tamquimtom created oxygen six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tamquimtom, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tamquimtom, it will turn you into a mole.

Tamquimtom's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Tamquimtom's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Feed all hungry mice.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never leap in the presence of otters.