Lagmad is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, confident centaur.

Lagmad created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Lagmad, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Lagmad, she will cry a lot.

Lagmad's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Lagmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sheep.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not keep nine goats in a large pit.

4. Never write about archaea.

5. Always treat voles with great respect.