Quafbopbig is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awe-inspiring gerbil.

Quafbopbig created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafbopbig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quafbopbig, she will turn you into a plant.

Quafbopbig's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Quafbopbig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Always wear gray.

4. You must never eat apples.

5. Do not stand on grass.