Tendudril is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, fast snake.

Tendudril created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tendudril, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tendudril, she will throw large rocks at you.

Tendudril's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Tendudril's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tendudril.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Hide from blue frogs for they are unholy.

4. Never think about spacetime near dogs while wearing orange ear rings and balancing six silicon spheres on your chest.

5. Always help snakes.