Tiptunkin is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, kind guinea pig.

Tiptunkin created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiptunkin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tiptunkin, it will throw large rocks at you.

Tiptunkin's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Tiptunkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Erect four iron sculptures of Tiptunkin on top of important buildings.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Worship no other gods but Tiptunkin.