Dubmandan Kamloopsis is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, charitable fox.

Dubmandan Kamloopsis created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubmandan Kamloopsis, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dubmandan Kamloopsis, it will curse you with boils.

Dubmandan Kamloopsis' most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Dubmandan Kamloopsis' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Dubmandan Kamloopsis nine times a day.

2. Never wear scarves.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always help seals.