Dodcipspag is a god.

It takes the form of a large, stupid goblin.

Dodcipspag created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Dodcipspag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dodcipspag, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Dodcipspag's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Dodcipspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near dogs while wearing cyan corsets and balancing six gold spheres on your neck.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Dodcipspag.

4. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

5. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.