Jankindudlig is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, witty eagle.

Jankindudlig created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jankindudlig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jankindudlig, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Jankindudlig's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Jankindudlig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near monkeys while wearing cyan stockings.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.