Flapzenhat is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, tranquil shark.

Flapzenhat created bats six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapzenhat, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flapzenhat, she will turn you into a sheep.

Flapzenhat's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Flapzenhat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five moths approach from the west.

2. You must pray to Flapzenhat six times a day.

3. Always help hamsters in need.

4. Flapzenhat loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

5. Do not laugh in public.