Tofsisfungubfebgubbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, merciful lion.

Tofsisfungubfebgubbeg created parasitic wasps six million years ago.

If you believe in Tofsisfungubfebgubbeg, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tofsisfungubfebgubbeg, he will turn you into a puffin.

Tofsisfungubfebgubbeg's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tofsisfungubfebgubbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near mice while wearing gray boots and balancing five carbon spheres on your head.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always wear purple.