Sawbimpang is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy dingo.

Sawbimpang created the Virgo Supercluster two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawbimpang, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sawbimpang, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Sawbimpang's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Sawbimpang's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Retreat if five shrews approach from the west.

5. Put Sawbimpang first in all things.