Femjinfasratkar Catjipbenhug is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humorless shark.

Femjinfasratkar Catjipbenhug created silver four years ago.

If you believe in Femjinfasratkar Catjipbenhug, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Femjinfasratkar Catjipbenhug, she will destroy your home planet.

Femjinfasratkar Catjipbenhug's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Femjinfasratkar Catjipbenhug's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Femjinfasratkar Catjipbenhug.

5. Never feed beans to geese while wearing scarves.