Batvadrig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, bad-tempered goat.

Batvadrig created the Sol system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Batvadrig, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Batvadrig, he will think nothing of it.

Batvadrig's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Batvadrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum gravity.

2. Never hop near otters.

3. Hide from cyan pigs for they are unholy.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Hide if three hamsters approach from the north.