Appfemyak is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, deceitful capybara.

Appfemyak created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Appfemyak, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Appfemyak, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Appfemyak's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Appfemyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Appfemyak loves foxes, so they must be respected.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Appfemyak.