Pitbasswad is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, happy hamster.

Pitbasswad created an electron five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitbasswad, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pitbasswad, he will turn you into a goat.

Pitbasswad's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Pitbasswad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

4. Run away from green tapirs, for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.