Tunlarncar is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, resourceful dolphin.

Tunlarncar created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tunlarncar, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tunlarncar, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tunlarncar's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tunlarncar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tunlarncar.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.