Labhanzak is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, vain aardvark.

Labhanzak created the Andromeda Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Labhanzak, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Labhanzak, he will throw large rocks at you.

Labhanzak's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Labhanzak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant black sculpture of Labhanzak in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

3. Retreat if seven frogs approach from the east.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about planets.