Tintonklat Pigfetnat Xuckflowbin is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, dishonest bat.

Tintonklat Pigfetnat Xuckflowbin created the Sol system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tintonklat Pigfetnat Xuckflowbin, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Tintonklat Pigfetnat Xuckflowbin, she will send minions to preach to you.

Tintonklat Pigfetnat Xuckflowbin's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tintonklat Pigfetnat Xuckflowbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention whales.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.