Tamlag is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, fussy dingo.

Tamlag created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamlag, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tamlag, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tamlag's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tamlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to ducks while wearing yellow skirts.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near badgers while wearing white shirts and balancing eight carbon spheres on your feet.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.