Tailteenwabsin Lagjinlap is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, annoying wolf.

Tailteenwabsin Lagjinlap created the planet Jupiter three million years ago.

If you believe in Tailteenwabsin Lagjinlap, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tailteenwabsin Lagjinlap, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tailteenwabsin Lagjinlap's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tailteenwabsin Lagjinlap's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention monkeys.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Never write about eukaryotes.

4. Never talk about nucleic acids.

5. Never wear shirts.