Nillmutcap is a god.

It takes the form of a large, tiresome rhinoceros.

Nillmutcap created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillmutcap, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nillmutcap, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nillmutcap's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Nillmutcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about archaea.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nillmutcap.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nillmutcap.

5. Do not listen to music.