Dadvanmob is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, moody bat.

Dadvanmob created a Higgs boson six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadvanmob, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Dadvanmob, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dadvanmob's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Dadvanmob's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always help tapirs in need.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Dadvanmob in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never eat bark.