Fedfodpitstafab is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, thoughtless donkey.

Fedfodpitstafab created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fedfodpitstafab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fedfodpitstafab, he will turn you into a mouse.

Fedfodpitstafab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Fedfodpitstafab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Fedfodpitstafab loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Run away from gray snakes, for they are unholy.